The Bragger, the Boring, and the Brother

My friends often comment after I go on a date..."Ya know, you should really write a blog about this stuff."

Well I have a blog.

So tonight's blog post is inspired by you...and a particularly terrible date.

Most of my dates can fall into one of three categories.

The Bragger, the Boring, and the Brother.

We'll begin with the most common, the Boring.

This man comes to the table with absolutely nothing to contribute. He has lived in Colorado his whole life and he has never been to the mountains, or Moab. He doesn't like his job. He doesn't exercise. Or watch football. Or have a hobby. Of any kind. I ask him questions to which he typically replies with one word.
It goes something like this:

"So do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"A sister." (Okay fine, 2 words)
"Cool...........So I have 2 brothers, one lives in Virginia and one lives in California, they each have a son..."
And so on.

I am often unclear on how I'm going to make it through to the ordering of the first drink.

Next up would be the Bragger:

This was my date tonight who inspired this blog post.
Let's start off with the fact that he began the evening by calling me Jen.
He continued to spend the next 2 hours telling me every country his job has sent him to and that the main reason he does what he does is in order to maintain his expensive lifestyle. Katie exits stage left.

Actually my favorite part of the night was probably this exchange:

Bragger: "My favorite restaurant in Denver is Euclid Hall."
Me: "Oh cool. What kind of food do they have?"
Bragger: "French cuisines. Or whatever Jennifer wants to serve."
Me: (intentionally ignoring his implication that he knew the chef) "Oh nice."
Him: ."...I know the chef, Jennifer."
Me: "Yeah, I got that."

The most interesting part of this type of guy is that despite your seemingly obvious uninterest and your attempts to sprint at the earliest chance, they still think you might want a goodnight kiss. Nope, you don't.

And lastly we have the most unfortunate dating case, the Brother.

This is the most unfortunate because he is everything you want.
Great job. Great family. Similar hobbies. Attractive. He's perfect.
But you feel like he is most definitely your brother.
And you can't date, or marry, your brother.
You go on an endless number of dates with him, trying to move past the brother-zone, but it never happens.
And so you move on. To the next Bragger, Boring, or Brother.

Don't you wish you were single? ;)