Tough stuff at school

Man.
I am really learning this year just how hard it is to work at a high poverty/high need school.
It's really hard.

For the most part, I've never really had trouble with behavior. I think one of my strengths is behavior management, routine management with 30 kids at a time, clear expectations, relationship building so kids like me and don't want to misbehave (the real key to it all if you ask me...).

But this year, more specifically this year starting after Christmas, I have some situations where my aforementioned strengths just don't stand a chance.

Thankfully, they're semi-spread out. All my tough kids are not in one class.
3 (ish) tough ones in Kinder.
3 (ish) in 1st.
1 in 2nd.
3 (ish) in 3rd.
4th is a dreamboat.

All I can say is (and I'm not just saying this to seem positive)....I am learning so much.

First off, let's make sure you know what I'm up against.

Dad going to jail last night because he shot someone is not out of the realm.

Dad leaving Mom yesterday for another woman who also has kids in our school and then that dad bringing the girlfriend's kids McDonald's at lunch while his real kid watches and doesn't get any is not out of the realm.

Finding little, little kids doing things in the bathroom to each other because that same thing is being done to them at home is not out of the realm....and so, so, so heartbreaking.

So that's what I'm up against.

It softens my heart, no question. But it also doesn't make it any easier to teach while a child bangs a chair against the wall in the back of the room. (Not to mention it not being an excuse for the men in suits who come watching to make sure we're getting that child on grade level in reading...)

So you try everything.

Regular stuff ("Move your light down to yellow, you are talking while I'm talking." (or in this case, banging a chair against the wall) works for the 98%.

For the 2%, regular stuff not only doesn't work but it makes it worse.

If I go about the situation with the banging of the chair the wrong way, I am done for.

If I tell one of those kids to move their light down because they won't stop talking on the carpet or are throwing pencils, it is likely that no child in that room will learn the rest of the day due to the yelling/desk pushing/raisin throwing that will ensue.

I've learned to ignore. I've learned to recognize positive behavior more than negative behavior, like with a ratio of 50:1. I've learned to pick and choose my words and my battles like never before.

I've learned things like when a child comes in to the my room stomping and grunting, it is much more effective to say, "Hey Hiram, cool shirt, you look sharp today. I need help passing these papers out, do you mind?" than, "You need to stop grunting and have a positive attitude." The first one works about 75% of the time. The second one works zero.

I've learned things like knowing your toughest's kids favorite color and brother's name really does make a difference (even though I kinda scoffed at that part of education classes).

I've learned things like getting upset and sending a kid out is what every other person in their lives have always done, and if you just keep them in there, while they bang the chair against the wall, yell, and throw raisins at you and the other kids, when they finally figure out they're not going anywhere, they just might come join you.

It is an absolute roller coaster.  One day I think I've figured it out and then the next day is my toughest day yet.

I've had a kid call 911 from my classroom phone. Followed by every administrator running into my room while the sirens came blaring down the road. I've had a kid steal from me countless times, only to have her mom believe her when she said things were slipping into her backpack.

I'm sure you're imagining that my classroom is a zoo. It's not. At all. Remember that 98% of my kids are sitting legs criss cross, hands in their lap, eyes on me, ears listening, mouth quiet. It's just the 2%, not every day, maybe every other day, for each of them, not always falling on the same days. The trick is focusing on your 98% perfection, and then figuring out how to get your 2% to be part of that.

I know it's cheesy, but the only thing I can do is not give up. There are so many days when I come home defeated and exhausted, sometimes go for a run to fix it, sometimes can't make it to go running. But you just have to keep trying again the next day. And I do think it's working. I do know our school is a haven for most of our kids, and that many are not excited when there is a teacher workday or holiday.

I'm not sure if I'll do this forever, or if someone young with fresh energy will have to take over in 10 years.

But for now, we keep moving.

I'll post pics on the last day of school. ;)

-Katie