Next year...

Well, my friends, I have finally made a decision on next year.

I am staying in Denver.

It has taken a lot of self-reflection and talking through with people to come to this decision and I'll try to explain it truthfully and semi-succinctfully.

I always liked Denver, but I guess until just recently I haven't loved Denver. It was great. But it wasn't home. And I was being surprisingly stubborn...and didn't want it to be.

Of course I loved the newness, the biking, skiing, hiking...but it was always kinda like being on vacation, and I was always ready to go home.

Until about the beginning of February, despite all the fun and adventure, I ultimately had this feeling of unfulfillment and emptiness at the end of day, because I was missing my friends and community in VA. Which if you know me, you know is my everything.

Everyone (everyone) was telling me I have to stay a 2nd year. I was giving up too early. The 2nd year is better. Give it a chance. You moved out there for a reason.

Until about 5 weeks ago, I told you all to shut up (in my head) because I just wanted to go home. I'd tried it, I'd had my adventure. It was time to go home.

But for whatever reason, that all went away about a month ago.  I don't have that empty feeling anymore. I am happy. Staying another year doesn't seem so entirely long anymore and I am not ready to leave in 3 months. I want to try a different neighborhood and possibly a living space larger than 300 sq ft.  I need another beautiful fall to hike and bike and run around the city. (I tried to type, "I need another winter..." but am just not quite there yet. Love skiing, don't love the constant snow with no snow days. Still working on embracing it...;) )

Possible reasons to attribute:

Switzerland: I am no longer going to be here for 2 months for the summer without a job, which made the whole next 1.5 years just seem so long. For some reason, as soon as I accepted Switzerland, I wanted to put my stuff in storage over the summer, move to a new neighborhood in August, and do another year.

Work: You guys, work is unbelievably better. It's hard to believe it's the same school because I actually hated it in September and October. I sobbed to my brother Jason on the way home in October. And now I pretty much sing at the top of my lungs on the way home because I really like what I'm teaching, and I adore my kids like crazy. I'm sorry that's cliche...but they are just the best. I am becoming friends with my co-workers. I enjoy my admin.

Friends: They will never, ever be my VA friends, but they are becoming my friends, and not just my acquaintances.

Life: I am making a life here. I have weekends. I am busy. It is becoming my life.

So anyway, I am staying, and I'm confident and happy with my decision.

Who knows what lies after next year.  I can only take life a year at a time at this point. At least that's what everyone tells me to do and I'm trying...

But just like this time last year, I have to thank you all for saying..."We are not going anywhere." That means more than you will ever actually know (another cliche).  I have to admit I have an intense fear that being away will hurt my friendships, and I need your reassurement that it's not 1920 and we can keep in touch!

So the adventure continues! Thanks for coming along for the ride :)